In this episode, I dive into how we share our feelings (Fear, Hurt, Anger, Sadness, Joy) in a way that doesn’t harm our desire for conformity.

Here’s what’s covered in the episode:

Expression and truth

For Level 4, the regressive pole is conformity, the progressive pole is expression, and the principle is truth. There is no specific emotion, instead we build upon the emotions of the first three levels. 

Balancing conformity and individuality

We all conform, but is conformity all or nothing? Around 80 percent of the population doesn’t live their life beyond conformity. We’re all afraid to be rejected (level 1 – fear), we know we may get hurt (level 2 – hurt), and sometimes that truth may be tough love (level 3 – anger). 

Truth helps maximize our potential

Holding a higher vision and potential is very important to truth. We should surround ourselves with people willing to tell us the truth, whether it be a compliment or constructive feedback.

Awareness = choice of truth

We have to think about should, when, and how we express our truth.

Professional example

There are always potential consequences when expressing truth. Once a project manager was sharing information that made me feel afraid, hurt, and angry, but I chose to hold on to these feelings. The next day during an important presentation, the same information from the PM came up, as did those same feelings for me. Because of the audience in this case, I chose to stand up and tell the truth. This taught me that once we have awareness, we need to choose our moments to express truth.

Personal example

When my wife and I had our first child, I experienced feelings of fear and hurt because I watched my wife taking care of my daughter, and I didn’t know what my role was as a new father. I shared this openly as it was very important for me and for our relationship to express my truth. We have the choice to bring truth to light in a productive manner.

Takeaway challenge

See if you can be aware of your conformity and how it affects your behavior.