The Definition of Success
This month we filmed a ton of content for my Life Is Sales sales training video course that will be coming out in 2024. One of the topics sparked a fun conversation with my teammates on the project. It had to do with the definition of success.
Success is personal.
Success means something different to everyone. The true “definition of success” is going to be personal to each and every individual.
I think many of us define success from a financial lens. This is extremely limiting. We all know people who are extremely wealthy but aren’t happy, and vice versa.
To me, achieving ultimate success in life is finding the things that nourish you from a holistic standpoint.
One’s definition of success should be a composite that takes into account numerous factors from all areas of life: health, self, relationships, work, happiness, and yes, financial status.
Understand that success can also ebb and flow, shifting from time to time based on these various checkpoints in life. Maybe someone is crushing parenthood, but their career isn’t as strong as they’d like. Or they’re steadily climbing the ladder at work, but in doing so, their relationships have suffered due to a lack of attention and nourishment.
There will always be give and take, consequences (positive and negative) to every decision, and a reaction to every action. This is where the concept of balance comes into play.
Balance is a myth.
I read a lot of things that talk about balance in life. Personally, I don’t believe in the concept, because again, I think everything is in a constant state of flux. The more we accept that, ironically, the better chance we have at actually achieving a hypothetical balance.
Take physical fitness for example. Being in good shape is a checkpoint of success for many people. Are there going to be times when this area falls down the list of importance? Of course. Life will get in the way. It doesn’t mean you can’t come back to that and make it a priority again when the time is right.
Balance can be day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month, and even year-to-year. We can always rebalance over the long term by refocusing on what’s important at a given time.
To me, balance overall is a fantasy. If we are going for things in life, in all of our life areas, we will not have balance or equilibrium. And the game will then be to take care of ourselves. We all need time to check out and rest, but do it consciously.
Striving leads to purpose, which leads to success.
I’m all for self-care, but it seems we may have swung too far sometimes.
Achieving success is hard. It doesn’t just magically happen. We need to work for what we want. We need to grind at times.
I believe that striving helps us discover our potential and can help us to find our purpose. By committing and going all out for something, we can simultaneously narrow in on what’s important to us in our lives. We determine what is nourishing and what is not, and then we can begin to focus our striving toward a purpose and commitment.
By embracing a composite view of success that encompasses all areas of one’s life, there is a key concept to keep in mind. It’s not about time spent on an area, it’s about intention. What are you doing with your time? How is the quality of your engagement?
For example, if building a loving family is an ingredient to success for you, is it valuable to watch TV together night after night as a family activity? Probably not. Spending that time in conversation, connecting with each other, going for a walk, etc., would do more to grow the relationships.
This isn’t to say watching TV can’t be a way to spend time and connect, but it’s not the best use of time every single evening and won’t ultimately provide as much benefit. It’s easy to just go through the motions, but easy doesn’t get us anywhere. Be present with everything you do. Time is the most valuable resource.
Again, with success being a holistic idea, family is going to be one piece of the puzzle. If you’re also striving at work, maybe that family time is sacrificed for a period of time.
When this happens, it’s important to remember it’s not the quantity of moments, it’s the quality. Anything that is worthy of success is not going to happen all at once. The process leads to results.
What does success mean to you?
This is the question we must ask ourselves and answer honestly.
Think about what is important to you. For some, that can be tough to answer in the moment. It can be helpful to project yourself into the future and visualize the things that you want. This is called the “deathbed exercise.” What does success look like at the end of your life, if you were on your deathbed looking back? It may be slightly morbid, but it is powerful.
Take action. Start by making a list, writing down your goals, and using a calendar to plan important checkpoints. Make the most of your little moments each and every day.
Most of all, don’t let society dictate what success looks like for you. Define your own measure of success.
